Sunday Vegetarian Lunch

I got a message from Al that we all should go for Dim Sum as usual on the weekend. I decided not to go since I'm still tired from my Kayak trip North Shore yesterday.
I made lunch at home instead. It's yummy!

Jeremy, My Long Lost Friend and Client

Lately, I have been busy and went through lot of stress of having my fortune life. Things are keep moving but slow speed. Things are the same but more stress. I'm busy but with nothing. Does it sound right to you? Certainly, I knew it would be coming and I knew it wasn't going to be easy no matter when it happened but I didn't plan on it being so busy. I couldn't find some time to write my blog...
Last month, I accidental ran into Jeremy at Longs. It kinda cute moment how we met again. I already passed the isle where Jeremy was standing but my six senses was telling me turn my head back! Jeremy was feeling the same but unsure that was me... Then we looked again and noticed each other right away!
It's been 4 years... I thought Jeremy had left Hawaii to Florida for good due to work. Back then, one day Jeremy came said good bye my staffs and I were pretty sad of loosing and not seeing him again. Jeremy to all of us was the best client, the most funny and charming guy among of our other clients. I had never said nothing but inside my heart I thought he was always very special and I really care for him.
So I have been hung out with Jeremy ever since. It keeps me happy and busy too. I'm glad that we turned our head back.

When I have to think twice...

It's funny but so true to think... between guys who I would like to vote for my Favorite??!!
Happy Friday everyone!

My Dream Last Night

I had a dream last night about you Baby.
You were back!
I was so happy that You have been away from me for so long... I could feel your embrace so real that you were holding me from behind... oh so tight... that I could not breathe any more...
Summer night was steaming without the trade wind...
So I tried to turn back to face your eyes... I love your eyes always. Did you know that?
I was always melting in your eyes...Your eyes brought color were brownish mix with greenish in a sky was calm, peaceful. I trusted your eyes. You smiled at me from across the pillow, in the middle of a sleepless night.
As much as I was so happy... I could feel that you eyes were every sad. Why were you so sad? In your eyes I could see there were sadness deepest ever. They were shattered pieces of broken glasses...
Oh Lord, I was scared. It's bizarre so I didn't like it. I woke up sobbing and exhausted...
Baby, the dream about you was scattered inside my brain, feeding me with headache, body ache and sweaty body...
I'm feeling sick today...

Summer Cheekini

I love to wear some of my new Summer collection by Victoria Secret : Summer Cheekini. They are light, soft, fit well and color that made me feel happy !!!

Vegetarian Dinner for Tuesday Night.

I feel tired of eating out last weekend and perhaps this week again with my big group of folks from Seattle...
So I told Tim that I would make Vegetarian dinner for the house with all the fresh vegetable I bought from China Town.
It was very tasty because the dipping sauce that I made.

 

An Interact Weekend with Many Folks

A weekend that I got to talk to my girls tenant were having girl's jealousy around the dorm. I had to face with their long stories explanation. I could see there were tears and torn from them. Lucky me, they both are pretty close to me. They also love me like their sister. I knew at the end of our conversation they would listen to me and learn how to be friend again... Thanks God.
I also had to deal with my guy tenant's problems. They were not small but not big either. I just couldn't believe that some time guy didn't want to live as a "straight shooter" as you would normally think guy should be.
During the weekend and next week, I had a big group of 25 folk that are friend and relative visiting here from Seattle. All of them stayed in Waikiki. Some of my brother young guy friends had slept over the house... It was quite cute that they were checking on me... to see how I was doing, what kind of music that I was listening or if I have slept yet so they would talk to me or say good night or say good morning to me... They were all Vietnamese... I felt the whole house was full of many brothers with love and care. I didn't have that nice feeling for a long time. Being around those folks are great!
Also, I have a chance to spend time with my buddy neighbor, had Chinese lunch with my Singaporean buddy Kevin and went for a drive, met Neil for a movie "Lone Ranger". Only thing was very bad that I went home late after the movie and hungry and cranky... Lol.
The movie to me was good... It remind me of Rod and his new comedy story will be make into a movie soon. I hardly can wait.
Such a complete weekend... 
Anyway, today is Tuesday already... I think I'm getting sick since I woke up this morning... headache, body ache, a little fever... Wish me luck that I won't feel worse tomorrow...
Good night everyone !

Sunday at Koko Marina

Enjoy Early Morning Rise...

As much as I love cuddling in his arms to sleep until the sun raised. I also find myself couldn't sleep past 6am. Being an Entrepreneur somehow would instantly tickle me get up early.
I found early risers are more productive in the morning because of the energy I could get due to early rise. It makes a difference between late risers and early evening. Early risers are more productive in the morning and less productive in the afternoon.

Amazing mornings are perfect for me... I'm ready waking up with willpower. Then in all I wish in the afternoon that I could fall into his arms again, quietly reading or listening to the music...

4th of July

May the morning sun bring hope and luck to our nation today as we are celebrating more than 200 years of our Independence. Thanks America.

Hope everyone has a lovely holiday! Be safe!

Have fun!

Reading morning By Rachel Emma Silverman

How Workplace Bullies Get Ahead

It can pay to be a bully.
In a rather disheartening study, a team of researchers led by Darren C. Treadway, of the University at Buffalo School of Management, found that many workplace bullies receive positive evaluations from their supervisors and achieve high levels of career success, despite organizational efforts to curtail bullying.
The researchers sought to study the relationship between workplace bullying and job performance. They collected behavioral and job-performance data from 54 employees of a U.S. health-care firm, and found a strong correlation between bullying, positive job evaluations and social and political skill in the workplace.
The study defines workplace bullying as “systematic aggression and violence targeted towards one or more individuals by one individual or by a group.”
The researchers found that many bullies thrive by charming their supervisors and manipulating others to help them get ahead, even while they abuse their co-workers. Because many bullies can “possess high levels of social ability,” they are “able to strategically abuse co-workers and yet be evaluated positively by their supervisor,” the authors write.
“If people are politically skilled, they can do bad things really well,” says Dr. Treadway.
(Political skill, Dr. Treadway says, is “the ability to effectively understand others at work and to use such knowledge to influence others to act in ways that enhance one’s personal and/or organizational objectives.”)
The study notes that workplace bullying is prevalent: About half of all U.S. employees have witnessed workplace bullying and more than a third have been the target of bullying, according to past research.
The researchers suggest that firms assess civility and camaraderie as part of performance and help staff develop skills to manage bullies.
The study was published earlier this year in the Journal of Managerial Psychology

Tuesday, It’s hard because I know better.

I did sleep good last night after I took many PM pills... Thanks God. 

I read Frank's funny note to me and I smiled a tiny... Thanks Frank.

I read the interview about Channing Tatum and his relationship, his wife Jenna on my iPad. It's normal but feel very great to know that he was really keeping up the love-life-family inspired for long time. 

I just wanted to let you know that I am still here. And yes, things are tough for me right now and my heart aches, my body hurt and I'm stressed. But I'm okay and I will be alright.

Monday, Working from Home because I Was Physically Hurt

I have my period today so my body was just in pain deeply. You would think I should take some Midol that will solve the PM problem.

Frankly, it seemed help just a bit. For some reason, I feel the pain was raw, deep ache this time. I've also been so sad lately... Emotional and physical were off the track that could make my whole body was physically hurt terrible.

The pain was hardest ever. I couldn't go to work today. I had to take extra PM pain relief that could knock me down... There was nothing I can do to help. I just had to take it easy and direct work from home.

It's so tough. All I just wanted to hide myself under the blanket to sleep...forever... It's the second times I had this feeling since his absent that I wanna die too. I used to be his strong woman but no longer. You would think with time gone it would get a bit easier or less. Nope. I know it came back today... It's sneaking inside me.

When he was here it's fine. Everything is perfect. I would skip a day or two and stay at home. I would be able to sleep peaceful after I take PM pain relief. I shouldn't have to worry that work had fallen so behind. He would manage business, food for the house, tip toes and rub my tummy with my favor hot oil. I would just sleep like a baby...

It's hitting hard this time. I really feel ill and fever. I really want to dug a nice big black hole and crawled into it. I just wanted to disappear forever...

Enough with crushing sadness and my PM period, I was lucky fall asleep a bit... I dreamed that he was touching my belly and holding me from behind. I felt it was so real... so my hand tried to find his then... I woke up in sobbing. I could feel my tears were making the pillow wet.

And life has kept going and moved on. I'm still stuck and struggling. I'm completely break down this time.
It's getting dark out side and the night is going to be longest ever since...

Sunday at Kahala Beach

Dog's Sunday, yes?

 

It's Sunday again. What are you doing my Love?
I woke up and love seeing my neighbor's dogs were having a relaxing and happy playing Sunday morning in our back yard. 

Just a quick though went through my mind that I was a bit of jealous of they were being so lucky! They have each other for Sunday morning. 

How I wish you were here... having coffee and reading Sunday Newspaper in bed with me as we always did.

 

Do dogs have empathy? Do they know when I am happy or sad?  

Dear Love,

 
I miss you like the sun rise
...
Unhook me, look me not into dusk,
Ease my cuts, and release my lust,
Inhale my words, and breathe my wants,
Let the light marry my eyes,
And let the same inherit the skies.
I miss you like the sun rise.

by Arian Foster

Peacefull as a Yard Keeper

The Gardener 85 

Who are you, reader, reading my poems an hundred years hence?
I cannot send you one single flower from this wealth of the spring, one single streak of gold from yonder clouds.
Open your doors and look abroad.
From your blossoming garden gather fragrant memories of the vanished flowers of an hundred years before.
In the joy of your heart may you feel the living joy that sang one spring morning, sending its glad voice across an hundred years.

Rabindranath Tagore.

That Love Will Be More Than A Thousand Years...

 

A Thousand Years

Heartbeats fast

Colours and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything take away

What's standing in front of me

Every breath

Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more


And all along I believed that I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more...

[ Christina Perri ]

Frank's message...

Yesterday
I was

Again
Alone...
I have a day and a night struggle with depression even though. I try to shake it off... so I cried still fall asleep...
This morning, I woke up and Frank sent me a message. Just was in the right time when I really needed to know that I was not alone indeed :

"I hope you are well. Know that someone out there sends you their love and good thoughts"
Thanks Frank.

The Color White and I want It. So Badly...

For some reason, this week I am long for Color of White...  I don't know why...
I find myself have a desire for white clothing or white in my surroundings.

Perhaps, June is unexpectedly stressful of unknown  at work.
That I'm still mourning.
That I'm moving in a new direction of my life - the completion of a cycle in my life.
That I'm going strong, improving in my own business.
That I'm seeking for a totally my new page of better work.
That I'm  planning an overseas trip soon.
That I'm seeking a new relationship.
But I'm also feeling a bit of isolation and emptiness....

China Town Market Place at City Square - Dillingham - Kalihi

Something different for me to do during my break...

We had to go DMV for cars re-tittle. Tim told me about the market and we went in. 

It's mini version of the Chinatown marketplace down town of Honolulu. 

It has all standard Asian vegetables, fresh sea food or meats available. A couple of vendors also sell grocery items like sauces, crackers, etc. 

I'm glad that I went!

Yellow is definitely my happy color

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend!!!!

It's Sunday morning, soon I will be off again for work. I can't believe it that I worked for the whole weekend. We are working on my 100 old tree. I hope finishing up by early afternoon.

Next week will be a week of catching up with the Lee's  family - something I am looking forward to so much. I seriously have to and want to.

I thought about yellow a lot this week. I was so lucky enough still have time to get me some yellow roses.

How could my spirit not be lifted when I'm encompassed about by a field of yellow and flowers? So I came up with a my favor yellow blazer.